Ask Susan: No Feeling in the Body
August 31st, 2019 adminA therapist asks, “After a client has named a feeling, when I inquire where they feel that in their body, they persistently deny any physical sensation. Where do I go with that?”
Susan’s response: I’m just working on a chapter for my upcoming book and right now I’m writing about the will to feel and connect, which is generated by caring about one’s internal experience. I’m imagining that significant others have not shown deep interest or caring in the internal experience of your client, who has developed isolation of affect. An approach that I’ve found to be beneficial to a number of people is to reassure them that they have an innate capacity to become aware of their internal experience and bodily sensations, which are occurring in every moment.
People who have disconnected from themselves to the degree your client presents don’t see an importance in noticing what they feel, usually related to shame, fear or guilt. It really takes desire and will to focus our attention inward. In meditation, we can choose to practice on focusing on anything we choose, like the breath or a candle flame. We’re probably not going to engage in such a practice without strong motivation. We have to see the vital benefits of such a practice. In therapy, our client is unlikely to practice an internal focus unless they see why it’s so important to the quality of their life and how such a focus can impact the symptoms that brought them into therapy. When we convey that we care and also believe in their capacity to show such caring and link this type of interest in their internal experience to the success of their therapy, I find repeatedly that the will becomes activated. I’m often amazed at all a person begins to recognize within themselves when the will comes online. The person’s awareness may begin with noticing sensations associated with anxiety or shame, and then we have the opportunity to work with those states.
Sometimes I’ll bring attention to visible or sensed bodily signals and invite the person to become aware of them and to share my interest in them. “It seemed that your voice changed or your arm stiffened. Does it seem that way to you?” I’ve often heard, “No, I didn’t notice that but now I do.” And we hope that our curiosity and caring will transfer to the person and we often need to clarify why this holds such significance related to what they want for themselves.
Often clients will need a specific type of assistance to discover why it so important for them to join you in your focused efforts to show interest in their internal experience. I’ve never met a person who didn’t have this capacity.
