Speaking with Susan: Working with Defense Driven Affects
December 15th, 2013 adminWorking with Defense Driven Affects
A therapist emailed the DEFT Google Group about an insight she had in supervision with Susan and shared the following reflections on a term that was introduced in the DEFT Training: Defense-Driven Affects. The therapist was working with a client who has a pattern of making herself small and helpless, being self-deprecating and at times, literally folding herself into a fetal position.
“We talked in class this week about ‘undoing a projection’ before exploring the feeling of rage that has been ignited as a result of the projection. (I’m furious that you have attacked me, when in reality, I am viewing my own self-attack as originating in you. Since the attack originates within myself, my rage will be endless and I need to stop fueling this rage if I am to have peace). I’m just starting to realize that when working with other defense-driven affects, such as weepiness or projective anxiety), I often empathize with these feelings rather than attempt to “undo” the defense that drives them into being. My empathy for these feeling states can appear to deepen the relationship—but I’m beginning to see that that shifting my first response could be more helpful in promoting meaningful change.
For example, I had a supervision session today and we looked at a piece of work in which a client was criticizing herself and then curling up into a ball (literally). In the session I went with empathizing…”Who wouldn’t collapse under that kind of self attack?” Had I gone to capacity (she’s actually quite capable), we could have challenged the perception that she is small and defenseless and must cower in the face of this internal attack mechanism. I think this is really going to impact my work. And I just thought I’d share that, and I would love to know how others are making sense of it.
A fellow therapist in training questioned: Here’s what I wonder about your case. She collapses into a ball, feeling helpless, powerless. I wonder if it’s an enactment of the little child, feeling like this when her caretakers “attacked” her… very alone in this, and too small and vulnerable to be competent. If you follow that, will she not get to core affect?
Susan responded: I agree that this behavior is a re-enactment of a very early phase. However, I don’t believe you are likely to get to core affect by following her helplessness, because this often leads to more helplessness, like a downward spiral. This is a familiar place to retreat and it appears to the self to be the only option. I get the image of an animal burrowing into a cave, going deeper and deeper into a place that promises safety and comfort. Only it loses it’s life experience in the process. If people could just follow their defenses, and the feeling that are driven by a perceived need to defend, they wouldn’t need therapeutic intervention. As I see it, personal growth comes from new awareness of an alternative to old patterns and a new way of seeing the self (with a caring other) as capable of exploring a different pathway. For most of our clients, reaching core affect is anything but automatic since resistance is just what it says… “I’m not going there. It’s too dangerous.” I find it to be pivotal to offer a clear alternative to an entrenched, self-harming pattern, which also engenders hope and a vision and an ideal to begin striving towards.
There is a defensive system occurring almost simultaneously here that involves activation of the affects of shame and anxiety that is fueled by cognitions (belief that I am powerless) and accompanied by defensive behavior (curling into a ball). It has been shown that shame begins at around 3 months. These recoiling behaviors act out the impulses that accompany shame and fear.
I use the term defense driven affect because these affects (e.g. the shame and anxiety that we see in the curling up client) were triggered originally in response to a perceived relational threat… a relationship upon which the client felt utterly dependent… and is now occurring in the transference. We want to help the client see, of course, that she no longer needs to activate the same behavioral and emotional response associated with childhood relational threats. We want to help the client clarify present relational reality of self and other and separate this from past traumatic reality. “Can we greet the feelings inside of you rather than recoiling from them and diminishing yourself?” “How do you anticipate that I will respond to the feelings inside of you?” “Does it serve you today to respond to the feelings inside you in this way?”
A possible scenario is as follows: the child attempts to get Mom’s attention to a need. Mom looks away and is not responsive and cannot be reached. The child has a direct experience of powerlessness (not yet cognitive) and deflation and viscerally feels shame and fear. Curling into a fetal position follows these occurrences and should the neglect or absence continue long enough, eventually shutting down and feeling nothing, a state of detachment (Bowlby). As the child gets older, there are also cognitions, such as “I am pathetic. I am worthless.” Thoughts and language eventually come on line to describe her experience. The behavioral adaptation to the feeling associated with danger may be regressive or repressive in nature.
The client does not see an alternative to these patterns and we want to provide an experiential and explicit alternative.
